Deadliest Catch
by simply meggg
Summary: DEADLIEST CATCH Todd Stanley's daughter comes to work on the Cornelia Marie. She is keeping a secret from him and the rest of the crew. Please Read & Review! Thanks!
1. Chapter 1

**disclaimer: I own nothing. **

**I've been fiddling around with a storyline for the past few days and haven't been able to get a good groove going. So, sorry for lack of detail. Let me know what you think. thanks.**

Stepping out of the cab into the Alaskan sunlight I take a deep breath and smell the sea. The strong smell rushes into my nose and sends chills throughout my body. This is something that I will be experiencing for the next 3 months or until I die. My name is Megan Stanley and I am about to step aboard the Cornelia Marie.

I push my long brown hair out of my eyes and start walking towards the welcoming turquoise color of the boat. I can see figures standing at the bow and one starts to wave.

"Meg!" He calls.

"Hi dad!" I call back laughing at his excited form.

My dad is Todd Stanley a cameraman for the reality series Deadliest Catch. He stays up in the wheelhouse filming Captain Phil Harris' reactions while another cameraman shoots the deck. I will be that cameraman for this season or should I say camerawoman.

"Welcome aboard!" He exclaims as another man takes my duffel bag from me.

"Thank you," I say to both of them.

My dad envelops my small 5'4" 115 pound body into a tight hug. We haven't seen each other in 6 months and I have missed him so much. He whispers that he loves me and I reply back with the same statement. Feeling tears prickle my eyes, I squeeze harder.

"Hey now!" A voice yells in a jokingly matter, "I don't want some emotional girl coming on this boat making my boys soft!"

My dad steps back and puts his arm around my shoulder, "Phil, this is my 21 year old daughter Megan."

I look up and see a gruff looking man with shaggy hair and a beard.

"Hi," I call with a wave.

He doesn't say anything and walks back into the wheelhouse. I look to my dad for an explanation.

"The guys are a little superstitious," He tells me.

"I'm not going to bring bad luck to the boat, dad." I say a little defensively.

He gives my shoulder a squeeze and tugs me down the dock.

"Don't worry about them," He says goodheartedly.

The man who is carrying my duffel bag puts out his hand.

"I'm Josh," He tells me, "Don't worry about 'ol pops up there."

I laugh and thank him. "Wow, dad" I joke, "Way to be impolite."

"Oh," My dad laughs, "Josh, Meg. Meg, Josh."

"Nice to meet you," I say with a smile.

I follow the two men inside and am greeted with three more. One looks to be about my age with brown hair and hazel eyes. I catch his gaze and quickly look away. I can't even think about romance these days. Not with the news I had gotten just 2 days before I left.

**Two days earlier**

_I am sitting in Dr. Montgomery's office waiting for him to come in and tell me what I am dreading to hear. I sit in the cold, hard brown chair and feel like I am about to have a panic attack when the red haired overweight man walks through the swinging door._

"_Hello Megan," He says with a smile. "How are you?"_

"_I'll tell you after you share those results," I joke trying to keep a semi normal facial expression._

_His face turns grim and he sighs with his large chest rising up then down._

_I slump in the chair and look him in the eyes. "Just tell me."_

"_It isn't bad, but it's not good."_

"_What does that even mean??" I question him with fear in my voice. I start picking at the purple nail polish I had only put on this morning. _

_He explains to me that we need to do a few more tests, but that he is sure that my leukemia is coming back. He tells me this time that we caught it early and that we can beat it. _

_The entire time he goes on all I can think about it how I am going to tell my father…_

**Present**

As my father introduces me to the other crew members I smile and say hello to them, but I am reminded that I still have not told him about my current medical status. My leukemia did indeed come back and I am not supposed to be on this crab boat. In the words of my doctor I am putting my life "on the line."

My dad shows me to my stateroom which I will be sharing with him. It's just 2 bunks and a very small dresser. I take my duffel and set it on the bottom bunk.

"Let's get started," I say.


	2. Chapter 2

**disclaimer: i own nothing. thanks.**

Sitting on my bed alone in the very small room I am expected to live in for the next 2 to 3 months I start feeling sorry for myself. I know I shouldn't and that I can tell my father the news, but I don't want to ruin this experience for him. I think back to the phone call when I told him I would indeed join him on the crab boat. He had been asking me to do it for quite some time and finally I had given into the pressure. He was ecstatic at the news. Ever since being diagnosed with leukemia at just 10 years old I want to do as many things as I can. Now at 21, my view has changed. I just don't want to go through the treatments and all the pain anymore just for a chance at living. I want to have a few good months and then if I need to, I'll go to the hospital. I know what I am doing is very risky, but so is coming onto this vessel. I could just as easily die out here than if I was just sitting around Seattle, WA.

A knock on my door snaps me out of my daydream.

"Hey, honey," My dad says coming into the room. His smile immediately turns into a frown. "What's wrong?" He asks me.

That's one of the bad things about my father. He can always sense when I am feeling low.

"Nothing," I reply plastering a smile on my face, "I'm really excited to get started."

His blue eyes meet my hazel and he looks intently at me searching for the truth that is threatening to spill from my lips. Before it does I jump up and start ruffling through my duffel bag. I'm looking for some clothes to change into so, I can help out on deck. Staring into my red bag like it was the most interesting thing in the world, not wanting to meet my father's serious gaze, I wait until he leaves the room for me to change to look around and sigh to myself.

"Get yourself together," I whisper.

"Talking to yourself already??" A voice asks with a laugh, "You've only been out here an hour."

I fake a laugh and look into the hazel eyes I had seen earlier. I can feel a blush creeping up my neck. Not wanting to make it awkward I joke, "Oh, you know… just talking to the 'ol crab gods." I force a laugh, but my joke is lame and I know it. I shake my head and look back down at my duffel bag.

"I'm Jake," He says breaking the silence, "Phil's son."

"Megan," I tell him reaching out to shake his hand. I look down and see that his forearms are very defined and that he has tattoos. Of course, he has to have two of my biggest weaknesses right out in front of me. He is also wearing a plaid shirt and I love a boy in plaid. This was going to be a very long trip.

He clears his throat and I am shaken out of my daydream. I tend to do that a lot I guess…

"Sorry," I say with my face blushing even more. I don't dare look at his face and kick myself for turning into the shy version of myself. This always happens with boys that I think are cute. I get all awkward and shy while boys who I happen to not be attracted to have no affect on me whatsoever. I can be as sarcastic as the next person with people I am completely comfortable with, but those dang boys that tug at my heartstrings. Damn them.

He smiles at me and cracks a joke that causes people in the galley to burst out laughing. I just feel myself blush even more. I look at the creases made by his wide smile finding myself captivated. I watch him as he walks into the galley still smiling and joking with the other crewmen. I tear my eyes away just in time for a fit of harsh coughs. I reach for my make up bag which contains the pills I need to get by. The first hour and I am already starting to fall apart. I just need to get this medicine flowing through my veins and then I can get my head on straight. I'm going to need to stay sharp these next few months. No Jake, no Jake, no Jake, I think to myself and I head to the bathroom carrying my supplies.

"Hey," Jake says grabbing my hand which causes electricity to shoot through my body, "You okay?"

I smile at his concern and reply, "yeah, I'm fine."

I keep walking towards the bathroom smiling to myself.


	3. Chapter 3

**disclaimer: i own nothing. thanks.**

After taking my pill I step out of the small bathroom finding myself alone. I didn't think I was in there _that _long. Shrugging to myself I head towards my stateroom thinking about where I should hide my make-up bag. It's just a small black vinyl bag, but knowing these guys they'll try and prank me anyway they can. I shove it under my mattress in the far corner and fluff my pillow up thinking that makes a difference.

"Meg!" I hear my dad call.

I hurry up outside onto the deck and see the 8 men standing in a circle discussing something. I cautiously walk up to them with a confused look on my face.

"What's going on…?" I ask nervously.

They chuckle and Phil replies, "We're going to the bar, would you like to join us?"

Obviously this can't be the reason they were all huddled together, but I take the bait and agree to join them.

* * *

Inside the bar it's so loud that I can't hear anyone, even Josh Harris who is sitting right next to me. I just smile and nod at him while he goes on and on… and on… He laughs at his own joke and I fake laugh along. I shake my head and look down at the water I am sporting. 5 minutes ago when I'd ordered it there'd been a huge uproar. All the men around me offered to buy me a drink, but mixing alcohol and strong pain medication isn't the best idea in the world. I thankfully declined and stuck to water and lemon. My dad had given me a strange look, but I shrugged it off. He must have remembered that was all I drank when I was on my deathbed a few years ago. I didn't want him to think anything of it so I lamely told the crew that I didn't want to be hung over my first day out to sea.

"You know we don't leave until the day after tomorrow," Josh said jolting me from my daydream.

"What?" I ask.

"Yeah," He begins to explain, "The camera crew has a big meeting and seminar all day tomorrow."

I'm so confused that I whip my head around and yell to my dad, "We have an all-day meeting tomorrow??"

He laughs and answers with a short, "Uh huh."

"God dammit," I hiss under my breath. I had totally forgotten about it.

Looking around the room I notice that a lot of men are staring at me. No guys at home ever looked at me this way. I was too skinny from being sick all the time and seemed to always have bags under my eyes. I sigh and excuse myself to the bathroom. My head is starting to pulse from so much noise around me and I feel a nosebleed coming on. Nosebleeds are never good and they're a dead giveaway to my father.

* * *

"I'm going back to the boat," I announce coming back from the restroom.

Phil groans and looks at my dead with a disappointed look on his face. I do not care if these guys think I'm a prude and can't drink like them. I'm going to need as much sleep as I can get if I'm going to be fighting the Bering Sea for 2 months.

"Bye," I say before anyone can object.

As I'm walking out of the bar a voice calls out to me, "Hey! Wait Up!"


	4. Chapter 4

**discalimer: i own nothing. thanks.**

I turn around searching for the voice that called out to me.

"Hey," a stranger says getting up and walking towards me. He's a young man with short blonde hair and a small physique.

"Hi," I say and continue walking towards the door. I just want to go back to the boat and lay down. I don't need any stupid drunk guys hitting on me.

"Stay a while," He says chuckling and grabbing my arm.

"I can't," I tell him, "Sorry." I shrug and pull my arm free.

"I'll see you tomorrow then," He says with a smile. Seeing the confusion on my face he tells me, "I'm a cameraman on the Time Bandit this season."

"Oh," I say stupidly. Knowing he's a fellow production worker I instantly feel more comfortable talking to him, "Yeah, tomorrow." I give him a slight wave and look back at the table I recently vacated. Two hazel eyes are staring my way. He seems mad and I don't want him to be mad at me, so I go back to the table.

"Can I talk to you?" I ask Jake feeling bold.

He nods and pushes his chair back. We walk outside into the cold October air. I can see my breath as I try to think of the right thing to say. Why did I just bring him out here? I have nothing to say to him and obviously he was staring because he thinks I'm some freak girl that can't even have one drink and hang with the guys. He stares at me expectant and I shake my head embarrassed.

"Nevermind," I say blushing, "Sorry."

He touches my arm tenderly and states, "You don't look so good."

"Ha!" I let out taken aback. I turn and start power walking towards the boat.

"Hey," He calls after me. When I don't stop he jogs up beside me. "I didn't mean it like that… You just look really pale."

Not wanting him to think I'm crazy I stop and turn towards him. "Sorry, I'm just not feeling well and I don't want to look weak in front of everyone before we even leave port."

He nods listening to my lame answer. This is not the Jake that I have seen on television. He is quieter and calmer than I expected. His eyes look straight into mine and seem soft.

Feeling my walls start to crumble I quickly tell him, "I'm going to bed." He probably thinks I'm a bitch, but I can't let anyone know.

* * *

My head hurts, my eyes water from the bright chandeliers overhead and I still have to sit here for another 3 hours before I can go back to bed. I'm sitting in the ballroom of the Grand Aleutian Hotel while my father speaks to the large room of production people. He's been going on about safety for the past 45 minutes and I am getting very tired of it.

"Okay, break for lunch," My father calls out.

"Finally," I say under my breath and get up.

"Hey!"

I look towards the voice and see the guy from the bar.

"Oh, hey…" I say cautiously. I know I'm probably coming off as rude, but I have too much on my mind to make new friends. Plus, it would only hurt someone who got close to me if I were to die soon. Wow, that sounds morbid…

"Sorry about last night," He says with a smile. "I was a little tipsy." He laughs good heartedly and his blue eyes twinkle.

I nod and tell him, "That's okay."

We stand in awkward silence for a few seconds before he blurts out, "I'm Sean."

"I'm Megan," I reply and give him a once over. He seems pretty cute. Not too skinny, not too big and what I thought was blonde hair in the dark bar is actually red.

"Want to eat?" He asks me. I nod and follow him towards the buffet.

* * *

20 minutes later Sean and I are still talking and laughing over our hamburgers.

My dad interrupts everyone by explaining, "The crews of the boats we'll be filming are going to come in now and we're going to play some games."

"Oh no…" I say and catch Sean's gaze. "We're going to have to get into survival suits."

"Slowest one in has to buy the other dinner," He proposes.

"Deal."

* * *

Watching the doors I see the captains and crews start filing in. I see Phil and the guys head my way. It's only my dad and I on the Cornelia Marie so, I guess I'll be the one participating in the activities.

"Hey," Jake says and sits down next to me. He's wearing another plaid shirt today and a brown beanie set back on his head. I can't help but blush at how cute he looks.

"Hi," I reply back looking into his hazel eyes.

Josh walks up next and gives Sean a look. "Hey man, can you move?"

Sean gets up and heads towards the table with the Time Bandit crew.

"Making new friends already?" Josh jokes.


	5. Chapter 5

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* * *

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sorry i haven't updated in a few days. please review.

"Oh my god!" I exclaim in a fit of giggles. Phil Harris is standing behind me as I try to wiggle my way into the neon orange survival suit.

"Come on girly!" He yells. I can't tell if it's encouragement or something else. Still struggling I hear my dad's voice cheering for me along with the other guys from Cornelia Marie out in the audience. They give me a burst of confidence and I start moving faster. To my left are Keith from the Wizard and Sig from the Northwestern. On my right are Andy and Jonathan from Time Bandit. All of the other captains have male production employees trying to put the suits on as quickly as they can. My size is definitely helping me. Zipping myself in I yell, "Done! I'm done!" Phil claps me on the back and all the Cornelia Marie crew starts yelling and whooping.

"You guys got beat by a girl!" Josh yells. I give him a look and he just laughs it off. Just because I am a girl doesn't mean I can't do what boys do out here.

"Megan Stanley from the Cornelia Marie, ladies and gents." My dad smiles to me and continues droning on as Phil and I head for the stairs off the stage.

"Good job kid," He says to me.

"Thanks," I reply not expecting that.

I start walking towards the table, but someone grabs my hand.

"I guess I owe you dinner," Sean jokes.

"Meg!" I hear Jake yell and he starts towards us, "Come on."

"I'll talk to you later," I tell Sean turning towards Jake's form. He has a big smile on his cute face and I love that it's directed at me. I awkwardly walk to him in the orange suit.

"Lookin' good," He says when I reach him.

"Shut up," I reply, "I won, didn't I?"

* * *

After getting the survival suit off I start to feel sick to my stomach. I don't want to look weak in front of the guys so, I excuse myself to the bathroom. Just as I close the door to my stall, I puke. My hands are clammy and there are black dots in front of my eyes. I start taking slow breaths and clutch my head feeling like I might cry.

"Please…" I plead to myself.

I wish my mom was here. She would know what to do. She's been taking care of me since I was diagnosed. She is my rock and is a hell of a lot stronger than I will ever be. I know I shouldn't be thinking like this, but I can't help it. I am 21 years old and crying for my mother… this is not good. I have to get on a crab boat tonight and say goodbye to solid land tomorrow morning. Maybe this wasn't such a great idea after all. I haven't let myself think this, but right now I will. _I am dying._

After sobbing for an entire 10 minutes I hear loud voices in the hall outside the bathroom. It seems like I missed the second half of the meeting. I step out and look at myself in the mirror. I am pale and skinny. My hazel eyes look large and red from the crying I just did and my dark hair is stuck to my forehead. In other words, I look like shit. Sighing I run the water and splash some on my face.

* * *

"Are you okay?" Someone asks me as I step out of the bathroom. I look at a middle aged man and nod. I decided to do this and I am going to stick to it. I don't need sympathy from anyone.

"I'm fine," I smile at him, "Thanks."

Making my way through the crowd is tough, but I finally make my way to the table I recently vacated. No one is there. _Dammit_, I think to myself. Now my dad will be worried.

* * *

"Megan Joan Stanley!" My dad yells as I appear in the galley. He and Phil are sitting at the table going over paperwork.

I look sheepishly at him and say, "Sorry?" No dice, he is really mad.

"What the hell happened to you?!" He exclaims while Phil excuses himself and heads for the wheelhouse. This is beyond embarrassing.

"I wasn't feeling well," I begin to explain lamely, "I just went to the bathroom for 2 minutes and everyone was gone!"

My dad scoffs and flings his pen at the table. He doesn't usually get this mad, but I guess there is a first time for everything, right?

"I can't really yell at you because you are 21, but I was worried," He tells me.

"I'm really sorry, dad."

"Just get some sleep," He says motioning towards the stateroom, "We have to get up early and go over what the plans are."

"Okay," I reply with a nod.

There is another table in the next room and I find Josh, Jake, and Ryan playing cards.

"Hey, what happened to you?" Josh asks as I slide in next to Ryan.

"Long story," I say without explaining.

"Bullshit!" Jake exclaims.

"What?" I ask feeling myself break into a sweat.

"The game we're playing," Ryan explains.

"Oh," I say. I laugh and join in. We play for an hour or two until we all get too tired to hold the cards up.

"I can't even see if this is a 2 or a 7," Ryan jokes.

I look at his hand and say, "That's a 5."

We all start to crack up and I finally feel myself begin to relax. I catch Jake staring at me and I send a smile his way. Ryan taps me on the shoulder and motions that he wants out. I get up and announce that, "I am making brownies."

Jake and Josh laugh and Ryan back tracks towards the table. "I guess I can stay up a little longer."

"Ha!" I let out and head towards the kitchen. I tend to get intense cravings because I am on this medicine that is supposed to bump up my immune system. Not even the doctors can explain why I get them.

Josh heads towards his bunk, but Jake stays with Ryan and I as I look for the brownie mix I brought.

"I'm glad you're here," Ryan jokes.

"I try," I reply back with a laugh. These boys are going to be fun, I can tell.


	6. Chapter 6

"How can it only be 10 o'clock!?" I exclaimed looking at Jake then Ryan then back to Jake.

The three of us have been sitting around munching on brownies while Jake and Ryan grill me about my life back home. They had heard about my best friend Emily and the boyfriends I had never really had. They knew that my father and I didn't see that much of each other, that I lived with my mom even at 21. They asked me questions for what felt like hours, but in reality it had only been 45 minutes.

"I'm going to the bar," Jake announced. I don't want to seem disappointed, but I am. I thought that maybe Jake and I were getting along, but that of course doesn't mean anything. I remind myself that I can't get close to anyone. It would only hurt that person in the end.

"You comin'?" He asks Ryan.

Ryan looks at the clock then back at Jake. "Yeah, it's early."

The two boys look my way and stand seemingly waiting for something. I shake my head and ask, "What?" They laugh and one on each side grab my arms.

I kick and scream, but I won't lie its nice having boys giving me attention. They carry me out on deck and set me down. I look down at my outfit and shrug. Skinny jeans, a ramones tee, a black hoodie, and rain boots isn't the best outfit, but this is Alaska and its cold. I put my hood up and step off the boat. Jake and Ryan follow and we all set out towards the bar.

* * *

Sitting at the table with the captains isn't the grandest place to be. They're all talking about past seasons and acting like a bunch of old men. They are a bunch of old men, but I don't feel like hanging out with them. I look across the bar to where Jake and Ryan are chatting with some blonde girls. The two girls look like they might still be in high school. It is definitely a possibility due to the fact that they started screeching as soon as they saw Jake walk through the door. I had made a mad dash for the bar thinking the two would follow, but they stayed behind smiling at the girls and signing their shirts. I just don't get why girls would act like that. Yeah, Jake is really cute but it's not like they know him or have ever talked to him before this cold October night in Dutch Harbor, Alaska. What am I thinking!? I don't know Jake any better than they do and I'm getting all defensive. I get up and head towards the bar going against my judgment and ordering a vodka cranberry. I've never had any type of alcohol before, but I have heard my mom order one of these things. It better be worth it since I'm not supposed to drink. I take a cautious sip and make sure my dad is nowhere to be seen before I down the whole thing. It's not bad…

"I'll take two shots of vodka," I tell the bartender. She gives me a look, but pours the liquor.

"Thanks," I say and take the shots. They send chills down my spine, but I instantly feel warm.

I make my way back to the table and plop down. Andy and Jonathan Hillstrand are in a deep conversation with Scott Hillstrand while Sig is talking to a cute guy that looks around my age.

"Hey," I say motioning to Sig and the guy. They both look over slightly annoyed at my interruption.

"Yeah?" The guy asks.

"I'm Meg," I tell them with a slight slur. 1,2,3, I count in my head. Only 3 shots and I think I'm drunk. Fuck, it must be my meds. "Nevermind," I say shaking my head embarrassed.

"Are you okay?" The guy asks me.

"I don't know," I think out loud.

The guy gets up and walks over to me. I see his crystal blue eyes and sink into them. They're beautiful.

"What?" He asks.

Oh shit, did I say that out loud??

"I'm Jake," he says with a smile, "A deckhand on the Northwestern."

My vision is getting blurry and my head is beginning to pound. I am so dumb, I never should have drank. Since I don't say anything he goes on, "I saw you at the seminar this morning. You're Todd Stanley's daughter, right?"

I just nod. My stomach is in knots and I'm afraid I might throw up. He can't be that nice. No guys are this nice.

"I'm sorry," I try to say, but it comes out like 'mmm sssswwwyyy"

He laughs and helps me up. As soon as I'm on two feet the world spins and I end up on my ass. I can't help but laugh out loud. I hear voices calling out, but can't make sounds into words.

"You're greenhorn is drunk!" Jake yells seemingly right in my ear. I swat at his face and he grabs my hand. "Jake is gonna come and help you back to the CM, okay?" Great, now he can see me acting like a complete and utter idiot.

"Too many Jakes," I say without thinking before I talk.

Everyone around me laughs and I feel myself turn red. I can vaguely see Jake walking towards us. At least he has a smile on his face. I can not believe I am acting like this when these people have only seen me for 2 days. I will never hear the end of this. Jake snaps me out of my daydream by putting one arm under my knees and one under my shoulders.

"I got ya," He whispers with a laugh in his voice. I put my arms around his neck feeling safe for the first time in a long while. I've never had this type of feeling for anyone before. Other than the fact that he would never like me in a romantic way, (he would much rather have a 5'10' blonde bimbo with huge breasts) there's also that little problem I've got going for me right now. Oh yeah, I'm dying.

I must have blacked out because the next time I wake up Jake is in my room going through my bag. "Hey," I mumble. "Don't go through that." He looks up from what he's doing with a chuckle. "I'm trying to find you something to wear," He explains. He holds up a pair of sweats and an old 'Race for the Cure' tee shirt I had gotten once when my mom and I walked for a cancer charity. He heads towards me and I instantly get uncomfortable. I don't want him to see my ribs jutting out and my deathly pale skin. The scars alone from the catheter which pumped chemicals into my chest combating the disease scares even my closest family away. He must have sensed the change of energy in the room because he tells me, "If you need help just call me. I'll be right outside the door." He hands me the clothes and walks out of the room. I sigh with relief and start to unbutton my jeans and tear my tee shirt off. I guess Jake had taken the liberty of taking my boots and hoodie off for me while I was passed out. I look at the clock and see that it's 2 AM.

"How can it be 2 o'clock already!?" I exclaim. I hear Jake crack up in the hall as I shimmy into the sweats while still lying on the bunk and pulling the tee over my head.

"You like to freak out about time don't you?" He calls.

If only he knew that time is my enemy. I've been fighting time since 10 years old when the doctors told my parents I wouldn't live to see my 15th birthday. I feel a rush of emotion fall over me so harshly that I feel my eyes begin to tear up. I let out a long breath and suck a big one in through my nose. This breathing usually helps when I feel myself on the verge of falling apart. Jake must have heard me because he opens the door and peaks in.

"You okay?"

I shake my head and look into his hazel eyes. "Our eyes are the same color." I say trying to think of something else. I feel the mood change instantly. I start to notice how small the stateroom actually is and how close Jake's face is to mine. "Yeah…" He breathes coming closer.

If there was a great time to interrupt someone it was right now and my father stomping through the galley certainly does that.

"Who made brownies?" He calls out to no one in particular.

I flinch and move my face away from Jake's. My head starts to spin again and I feel all the strength leave my body. "See you bright and early," I say to him lying back down onto my soft pillow. He strokes my hand and quickly leaves the room before my father sees us.

I look up at the pictures of my mom, dad, and I from when we went to Disneyland on my 15th birthday. We had wanted to do something really special since I wasn't even supposed to be alive.

Turning toward the wall I try not to think of Jake's eyes or his lips so close to mine. I don't replay the stroke of my hand over and over in my hand. I close my eyes and drift off to sleep with a small smile on my lips.


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey! I'm back! Sorry it has taken so long to update. I've been very busy this past week and a half. Please feel free to leave me some feedback and as always, I own nothing.**

I want to open my eyes, but I can't. My eyelids are lead and my body has no strength left in it. I look at the clock seeing the red blinking numbers read only 5:30. It's only been an hour and a half, but it feels like forever that I've been awake puking my guts up. It's been a rather disgusting night. I search for my black bag underneath my pillow. It's got the vitamins and medication I need. We're leaving today and I have to start filming. Dad is going to start me out filming Captain Phil and then as the days go on he'll train me out on deck. Part of me is scared while the other, spontaneous and thrill seeking part of me is so excited I can barely sit here. Getting up and heading for the dreaded bathroom I'd only recently vacated minutes before to take my meds I slip on my "grandpa slippers" as my father likes to call them. They are warm and very comfortable and that is why I love them. I slip them on and my favorite hoodie. It's from a feis (Irish dance competition) that I got when I competed. I look at my dad sleeping and giggle to myself. He makes the weirdest faces in his sleep. Continuing on my journey to the bathroom I stop to make a pot of coffee. The guys are going to need a lot of that while putting the finishing touches on the boat today. At least we'll get to relax as we make our way to the fishing grounds. Getting me into the shower before the guys wake up is a miracle, I don't need any eyes peering in or anyone playing practical jokes on me. Feeling the hot water rush onto my worn body the memory of the previous night comes flooding back to me.

"Oh, shit." I mutter to myself. Way to make a huge ass of myself. Especially in front of people I hadn't even been properly introduced to. I shake the thoughts from my head and just keep a positive outlook on the future. Oh, who am I kidding? I am going to get so much shit for last night it's not even funny. I guess its karma. I'm not supposed to drink and not only does it make me feel like crap, it makes me act like a lunatic. I hop out of the shower once I finish washing my long brown hair and into a pair of dark wash skinny jeans, a led zeppelin baseball tee and a forest green hoodie that I don't zip up all the way. I've been told I look like Zooey Deschanel, I'm not sure if that is a good or bad thing because she has gotten really thin. I wish I was as tall as her and had those bright blue eyes, but I got my mother's hazel. They've been turning greener lately so maybe they'll be brighter as well…

I'm jolted back to reality as the bathroom door is yanked open.

"Oh!" He exclaims, "Sorry!"

I see Freddy's embarrassed face and tell him it's fine and that I am done. I laugh and pat him on the back as he mutters something about having women on the boat under his breath.

* * *

Gulping down coffee and feeling a lot better I get the energy and giddiness to find my ipod and put on some 80's classics. At this particular moment I'm dancing around the galley to Michael Jackson.

"Beat it!" I yell without thinking. I hear laughter and turn to see my dad with his camera rolling.

"This is definitely going on the behind the scenes reel this season!" He jokes.

"No dad," I say, "No way!" I run towards him and swat him on the arm, "Don't!"

He just keeps filming and laughing as I go back to making breakfast. Pancakes, sausage, eggs and toast is on the menu for this morning. I've been told Jake is a very good cook, but I thought I would make something this morning as a way to suck up to the crew.

"Hey fellas," My dad yells, "Meg is in the kitchen making a complete fool of herself!"

"Wow! Thanks for nothing dad! You're supposed to be on my side!" I shake my head and laugh. I feel myself relaxing and slipping into our old routine. My dad and I always bust each other's chops as we call it and I'm enjoying myself and feeling good after sneaking a few pancakes before they all get eaten.

* * *

Josh and I were attempting to do the Thriller dance while my dad, Phil, Freddy, Ryan, and Steve grabbed some grub when I saw Jake groggily shuffle in. I froze and pretended to make more coffee.

"Coffee?" I called to him in wonder.

He shook his head and dragged a lazy hand over his face. "Yeah," He told me nodding in my direction, "Thanks."

"Come on," Josh said annoyed that I had stopped, "We were doing really well."

"Eat Josh," His dad tells him, "You gotta get to work."

Jake walks over to us grabbing the mug I hold out to him of hot coffee and helping himself to what's left in the pans.

"Thanks," he mutters without catching my eye.

Before I have time to over think it Josh starts ragging on him, "Jakey isn't such a morning person."

Jake responds by simply flipping him off and diving into his food.

* * *

Back in our stateroom my dad is explaining everything I need to do for the millionth time in a row. When I first agreed to come this season I'd gone through countless phone calls of him telling me the same thing over and over again. It was mostly him going over what to look for and the do's and don'ts of the boat. He knows very well that I can handle a camera and all the equipment that goes along with it. I've grown up around this stuff. As he goes on and on I search through my bag for warmer clothes.

"What are you doing?" He asks interrupting himself.

"Trying to find warmer clothes," I answer giving him a weird look.

"No," He says, "You're in the wheelhouse today."

"What!?" I exclaim, "No way, I want to be out on deck. I want to see the action. I've never been on a crab boat before!" I grimace at my mistake.

"Exactly, you have never been on a crab boat before," He tells me starting a whole new lecture on how he is my boss and I have to listen to him if I want to get paid and that it's for my own good, blah blah blah… I sit and listen to him keeping my mouth shut. He finally leaves the room when the phone in the galley starts to ring. It connects the deck, wheelhouse and galley together making it easier and safer for people to talk throughout the CM.

"Come on," He says, "Showtime." He smiles at me and beckons me towards him into a big hug.

"I am really glad you're here and that you're healthy and doing so well," He tells me with emotion in his voice. It cuts into me that he had to bring the health aspect into it, but of course he would be happy about that. He's my father. He loves me. I hug him back and just nod into his shoulder.

* * *

Up in the wheelhouse nothing is going on. I stand near Phil with the camera resting on my shoulder as he looks at computer screens and listens to the weather. I'm afraid of being in this wheelhouse just us two with not much going on. It's going to give me too much time to think of what is going on in my life. Like, right now I am stressing not about the boat being ready and getting out of the harbor, but of what my dad said to me a little while ago.

"Jake!" Phil screams into the loud speaker. I immediately train the camera on him and listen while he yells at his youngest son about being careful when he's tying the pots. I look out and feel my stomach turn when I see Jake on the side of a stack of pots dangerously close to the cold waters of Dutch Harbour, Alaska. My stomach turns a second time when I see my father lying on top of the stack of pots leaning over the edge to get a shot of Jake.

"Todd! You too!" Phil hollers. He sucks in a long drag of his cigarette and looks to me. "Don't worry about your dad there. He's done real well these past few seasons."

I smile and nod at him, a silent thanks. If this is what happens when we're still docked I guess I'm in for a rude awakening when we're actually out to sea.

* * *

Throughout the day I find Phil does one of few things or he does all of them at the same time.

1. He drinks coffee

2. He smokes cigarettes

3. He yells at people and…

4. He complains to me about everything and everyone.

He is obviously used to having a camera in his face because it doesn't seem to phase him at all that we don't know each other. He just looks at me and says what comes to mind and sometimes what comes to his mind isn't the nicest thing in the world. He does make me laugh though. I have to hand that to him. Finally he gives the yell that we're leaving. A bunch of whoops come from the deck and he laughs his raspy laugh. "Are you ready for this?" He asks me.

"I am," I reply with a straight face and sharp nod.

"Alright then, let's go fishing!" He exclaims into the camera.

* * *

I finally get a break after 12 straight hours of filming Phil up in the wheelhouse. The crew is inside so, my dad offered to trade with me for the night. I get to film them horsing around while my dad films Phil driving the boat. Once I get down to where the television is I find Ryan sleeping on the floor while Freddy and Steve talk over sandwiches. I see Josh in his bunk and I hear Jake in the kitchen. I film Ryan sleeping for a little while then Steve and Freddy. I sneak in on Josh as he reads letters from home and gives a little description of who it's from.

"My girlfriend surprised me by hiding notes in my bag. It's nice to read these words when I won't be able to talk to her for weeks on end. It gets lonely out here when the person you love the most in this world in hundreds of miles away." Josh's face conveys the words that are coming out of his mouth. He seems to be a truly genuine guy. I smile at him and thank him for sharing that with me.

Once I am done with Josh I walk into the kitchen area and see Jake searching through the fridge.

"What are you doing?" I ask him.

He pulls his head out and looks at the camera then me then back to the camera.

"Shh," He says putting a finger to his puckered lips. He has a smirk on and I can tell he is up to no good. "I'm trying to find whipped crème to prank ol' Ryan out there."

I film Jake search some more and finally find the can of whipped crème he'd been looking for. He's been giving me commentary the entire time about how the same thing has been done to him on numerous occasions. I get more comfortable around him as we share this preparation together. I follow Jake as he walks into the TV area and motion to Freddy and Steve at what he's about to do. He has already sprayed whipped crème in his one hand and a towel in the other. He puts the whipped crème in Ryan's hand, all of us forcing ourselves not laugh and then begins to tickle Ryan's nose with the towel. Ryan stirs a little and then we all burst out laughing as he smacks himself in the face with a handful of the white gloppy mess.

"Oh my god," I screech trying to keep upright from laughing so hard. Josh comes running out of his bunk questioning us then seeing Ryan on the floor. He cracks up as well.

Ryan stares up at me and laughs. "You've crossed over. You are now a part of the dark side."

I shrug and find Jakes face in the mix of laughing men. He nods at me and goes back to joking with his brother. I guess that's all I am going to get out of him for now.


	8. Chapter 8

**Soooooo, I suck! It's been nearly two years since I've updated! I'm very very sorry! I'd like to thank my readers for reading and my reviewers for reviewing! ESPECIALLY MikaxMichikox! Your review made me want to start this story back up! Hopefully I'll stick with story and update rather quickly. Cheers!**

I'm woken up from a really good dream by the searing pain in my head. Scrambling around in the dark I search for my makeup bag.

"Success," I say to myself as I find it.

I stumble to the bathroom and suck in a breath after turning on the bright light. I sit on the toilet for a few minutes with my head in my hands after popping a few pills. It's been one week since we left Dutch Harbor and I have been lucky enough not to get a nose bleed. Bloody noses mean I need a blood transfusion and out here on the Bering Sea that would not be possible.

I slowly get up and walk back to my bunk. The good thing is that my dad is still asleep. If he caught me up, especially if he saw me sick, there'd be hell to pay.

I lie down and drift off.

* * *

"Get up!"

I wake suddenly to a person's eyes very close to my own. Instinctively I swat at the intruder.

"Ouch!" he yells, "What was that for?"

I then notice its Ryan trying to wake me up.

"Ohmygosh," I say with my hands over my mouth, trying not to laugh. "I am so sorry."

"Dude," he says, "I'm trying to help you out and you hit me? Not cool, man."

I burst out laughing which causes him to break his stern look into a smirk. I look to the clock and notice that I am late getting up. I must have really felt like crap last night.

"Sorry Ry," I tell him. "Thanks."

I hurriedly throw on a pair of black leggings and an oversized pink Floyd tee, along with a pair of slipper moccasins. I stop off to get my equipment where we store them in a small closet. There are two very small shelves labeled "Meg" and "Todd." My camera and other essentials are on my shelf and my dad's are on his. Our shelves look very different. Mine is very neat while my dad's is… let's just say it isn't pretty.

I throw the headphones on around my neck and grab the camera and rush up to the wheelhouse.

"Where you been, sparrow?" Phil asks me as he puffs on a cigarette.

Phil has taken to calling me Sparrow because I'm "small and quick" like a sparrow.

"You know second hand smoke is almost as bad if I were the one sucking on those cancer sticks…" I state.

"Not you to!" He exclaims.

Phil gives me a "no nonsense" look as I like to call them and goes back to the controls.

* * *

I film Phil for a while and nothing too exciting happens. The television only shows about a few days of footage while we're actually out here for months. It is very dangerous, but thankfully Phil knows how to run this boat and the crew. I sit down on the bench and film the sea because I start to feel a little light headed. I set the camera next to me wanting to take a 5 minute cat nap.

"Meg!"

I'm startled awake by Phil's stern voice.

"You alright, Sparrow?" He asks me.

I nod and rub the sleep out of my eyes.

"You got something…" He says pointing under his nose.

_Shit. _I wipe under my nose and sure enough it comes back wet and red.


End file.
